10 black and brown queer muslims gather to discuss and share how they practise Islam. (We are using aliases as this blog is completely anonymous in order to protect the safety of certain members of our community).
Q: How do you practice Islam in your daily life?
R.N: I guess I practice by wearing hijab in my daily life. I also try to actively learn more about the religion as I'm trying to see how I fit into Islam.
M.Y: Maintaining a steadfast consistent routine everyday hasn't been too difficult for me personally because a daily routine would only consist of the five daily prayers and some Quran after Fajr. The only added element to this routine lately has been fasting because of Ramadan.
A.J: Hmmm I'd say for me through praying when I can as daily worship and also just trying to be a better person by following rules and fasting.
H.M: I don’t know if I do practice islam in my daily life except during ramzy I try to pray at least fajr and maghrib but sometimes not even that.
Q.I: I try my best to follow the 5 pillars (inshallah hajj!) but I think we all know that Islam is a system of life. Being a "practicing" muslim doesn’t just mean completing those daily rituals, because that can almost be robotic if your heart is hard. If you aren't being compassionate and merciful in your daily life, engaging with communities and people, and self-sacrifice then you aren’t doing enough fam. There are a lot of terrible people who pray 5 times a day and I’m sure Allah has beef with them more than us.
M.F: I try to pray at least once daily and I put more emphasis into zakaat/treating others with respect rather than tangible aspects of our faith.
R.N: I agree with you about focusing on compassion in Islam. I guess that's something else that I'm practicing in my daily life. Just making sure I'm treating the people around me with respect and compassion because there's no point to my faith otherwise. M.Y: I feel like that's not something too many people think about. On judgement day we'll all be asked about all of our actions other than how many times we've prayed. L.F: Traditionally, I wouldn't say I particularly practice islam actively in my daily life. I'm a bit removed from the essentials like prayer and it's still a struggle for me to reconcile my faith and identity. But I do like to think I practice islam in its principles, by being as compassionate and merciful (as @Q.I said) toward others as possible.
R.N: I also have a hard time with more structured parts on islam like prayer so for me the least I can do is be a good person.
M.Y: MashAllah.
A.A: To be quite honest, I am lacking when it comes to practicing my deen on the daily. I had a crisis of faith when I realized that I am queer and was trying to reconcile my muslimness and queerness. During that period of low imaan, struggle and confusion I was forced to continue to pray, to fast and to go on as if nothing was wrong. Eventually, I learned that my queerness and faith did not need reconciling because they are not at odds with each other to begin with. But it was a little too late because being forced to practise the religion by my family when I was in a crisis of faith has pushed me away the deen. Faking to be a practising muslim has filled me with so much apathy and insincerity. Faking to pray in particular especially made me feel like, for lack for a better term, trash. The deeper I went on with my double life the harder it became to remember what it felt like to actually practise with sincerity, to be connected to Allah. This Ramadan I made a choice that I am going to reconnect with my Creator InshAllah. I miss that feeling of tranquility and peace when I submitted to Allah in utter humility. I am praying that feeling makes a comeback in my life because my soul needs it, Ameen.
A.A: going to ✈️ to islam this ramadan
"Eventually, I learned that my queerness and faith did not need reconciling because they are not at odds with each other to begin with" - A.A
M.F: @A.A wow that's very true I love how you said that queerness and faith are not at odds with each other.
M.Y: Wow :( that really hit home
R.N: @A.A that experience really meshes with mine because I had to reconcile the depression I was facing at the same time as my sexuality on top of cultural restraints in my life while being a practicing muslim. All of it felt very disorienting, but as I struggled with practicing I found some solace in the spiritual aspects on the religion.
L.F: @A.A that was really eye-opening to hear. I guess at this point I just want a reconciliation w the larger community have set a fundamental idea of what it means to be a "good muslim" - and since I know I don't fit that particular mold - I just want an active effort on cishet muslims part in fully accepting LGBT muslims. There's a disconnect with the community, which is such a large part of practicing our faith
H.M: @Q.I that’s actually a good point. I think it’s hard to focus on the tangible aspects of Islam when you have doubt in ur heart or have only been introduced to the religion by straight Arab men who think misogyny and homophobia will draw you in 🙄.
A.A: I think I haven't really considering the principles of islam, like being compassionate and merciful, when I was first asked how do I practise Islam in my daily life. Like @Q.I said, I thought being a practising muslim was just completing the daily rituals. This is opening my eyes to more the unstructured parts of Islam and it helps.
L.F: I would say I strive to prioritize compassion and empathy toward others religiously and politically - which for us being muslim overlap.
M.F: For sure! It's hard for me to keep focus or remember everything I'm supposed to be doing but I hold compassion super close to my heart! I've also recently been thinking about the intersection of islam with socialism too. I really think that islam is built upon redistribution of wealth with a lot of aspects of egalitarianism! A lot of its aspects are compatible w socialism and marxism because of how Islam is meant to be everyone's religion regardless of class
M.Y: @M.F same, equal rights has always been tied to islam which can be frustrating to think about especially being queer or a female or any ethnic minority other than white/arab
R.N: @M.F I've also moved towards seeing Islam as a guide for my economics. I've tried to make sure that my clothing is fair-trade or sustainable as much as possible. I'm also, as a muslim, incredibly aware of the conditions of animal agriculture since a lot of meat isn't prepared in a halal way
R.N: I'm also slowly returning to prayer because it does calm me down when I'm doing it for me and not to please family
A.J: @R.N Yeah prayer is more fulfilling if you do it on your own instead of being forced.
H.M: Prayer is so difficult for me and i know it’s not supposed to be easy but I think something I struggle with sometimes is belief? like believing that god 1) exists 2) is compassionate and as muslims I never feel like we’re given the space to question or doubt for a second.
How has being LGBTQ+ reformed the way you practice Islam? How do you interpret your faith in relation to your identity?
R.N: @H.M I struggled a lot with believing, but I know I believe in something bigger than me and the universe and Islam helps me stay grounded when I don't feel okay about the world and suffering. There are so many things wrong with the world I need to hold onto an endpoint.
H.M: @R.N. I agree! I feel like not believing in something scares me but I'm such a fire sign nfjdmdkdk I just want the space to question/doubt without being vilified by my family or muslims in general.
M.Y: It took me a while to come to terms with my identity as a gay muslim. I'd look into any verses I can find that mention homosexuality and only found the one verse sheikhs would cite in an effort to denounce us. After realizing the verse only condemns intercourse I started to feel a lot more in tune with my relation to Allah and that regardless of who I am I have a place of belonging in this religion.
M.Y: Anytime my parents bring up the idea of cishet marriage I'm like
L.F: I think being a lesbian has allowed me to move past the kind of Islam that I was taught; it's been difficult but it has allowed me to broaden my interpretation of Islam as something that can grow everyday and not simply a set of stable rules to follow.
A.J: Being LGBT changed the way I practiced completely because I was never really one to practice and I always fake prayed and I avoided islam even more because I didn't wanna practice and spend more time w homophobes so i was like whatever with Islam. But I think being LGBT forced me to educate myself and try and become a better muslim because I feel like if I wasn't I'd still be fake praying lmao.
M.Y: Being ostracized for who I am coerced me into looking at islam from a socialist perspective which in turn has me now backing up my activism with my religion.
R.N: I guess being in the LGBT community opened me up to Islam. I've met so many LGBT muslims online that are more sincere in their faith because it's often only for them, not to please family.
N.D: With regards to being queer and reconciling that with Islam. For me, I used to be religious much younger and then growing up, when I reached my teens, I fell off and didn’t fear God as much and wasn’t that concerned with being religious and honestly I feel like that probably explains why when it came to coming to terms with my sexuality, I never struggled or found it difficult or went through the self hate phase because by then, my relationship with god was very different and I knew he’d fuck with a gay nigga cuz he made me!
N.D: Me on judgement day when I thought me and Allah were cool and the gates of heaven slam in my face
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