We had a candid conversation about our struggles with Islam, as queer folk and as regular degular human beings.
What do you with struggle most in relation to Islam?
A.J: I had a whole phase where islam took a back seat because of my identity and it didn't feel right. But honestly it was more about my community than anything.
R.N: @A.J. I completely relate to feeling alienated from my community. I've always been very involved with the mosque, but once I figured out I wasn't straight I felt off in a space that used to feel very safe to me.
M.F: @R.N. god I feel super alienated at the mosque as a trans woman because I don't know where I'm supposed to "belong" really so I tend to avoid them :/ and it sucks
A.A: @A.J I hear you!!! It's hard as hell trying vulnerable with Allah and to connect with your faith, when the same muslim community is violently hateful towards your queerness.
H.M: @R.N. I really feel that, it’s hard to re-enter the communities you used to be apart of when you hear homophobic things and you can’t be open about such a big part of who you are.
A.A: I grew up in a very religious household, in Saudi. I know Arabic and to be honest it was hard for me to learn that I am queer and read what the Quran says about Qaum Lut. I was in so much distress, but deep down I always knew there was a logical explanation for my troubles. I knew Allah would not forsake me and leave me alone in the darkness (very dramatic but yes). Reading muslim non-heteronormative readings of the story of Lut saved my life.
R.N: @A.A. Exactly! I don't know what I would have done without non-heteronormative interpretations of the religion.
Q.I: I've had to hear interpretations of Quranic verses to justify homophobia, my family discussing the concept of a queer mosque as disgusting and terrible, and just sit with it. And I think that took a huge toll on my faith.
H.M: @Q.I. that’s been my experience as well. Just watched tv with my family and hearing the things they say about queer couples on a show and then saying things like I’m glad islam protects us from things like this, it’s hard not to let that affect your faith.
M.F: I've just felt really at odds sometimes w my faith and transness + queerness just because of how I was raised within the gender binary and how I was raised isn't compatible otherwise... like ya my family is super homophobic and transmisogynist and I really ask them why they're judging ppl if they believe that only god can judge any of us?? It's really hypocritical to me.
Q.I: I also feel so alienated from LGBT spaces at times, people think hijabis are either homophobes or in queer muslim spaces they're just allies :/.
A.A: Queer muslim spaces are important to me, because as @Q.I. said I also feel alienated from other queer spaces because of my hijab and blackness too.
N.D: Honestly though meeting queer Muslims who are both religious and not religious has made me more interested in Islam because you can be yourself around queer Muslims whilst also being Muslim.
M.F: Yeah I think being in touch with LGBTQ muslims online has really helped me understand that I'm not alone or a mistake! Idk there's a certain level of unspoken understanding that I really appreciate.
L.F: Something I've struggled with most is my role as a girl/woman in a conservative muslim household. It's really fucking exhausting when your only worth is determined by marriage and your relationship to your future husband.
H.M: @ L.H that’s another aspect that really made it difficult for me to be religious, I grew up with a single mom who never taught me to place my worth in marriage but whenever I’d spend time with my extended family they always made it clear that god put me on this earth to breastfeed an overgrown man child.
L.F: Which is extremely difficult as a lesbian - I struggle a lot with carrying the responsibility of honour, which essentially boils down to how well you can conform and repress yourself to be worthy of marriage to a man. When lesbianism inherently rejects that ideal, there's no honour in being a lesbian.
N.D: Shit I struggle with everything, I struggle with all the actions like praying and fasting and reading Quran but I feel like my relationship with Allah is cool? Like I can count on that nigga and that he loves me and he got me but I know im picking and choosing the good bits and neglecting the parts that require discipline but usually people at least feel guilty that they don’t pray and that they don’t fast but I’m past that point, I don’t even feel any guilt, I feel fine
R.N: I struggle with a lot religiously, but I've found it comforting to not constantly be tied. I like that my doubt allows me to consider new perspectives.
N.D: Na but seriously guys, inshallah we all get to a place where we are peace with ourselves and with our relationship with Allah
M.K: When I started looking into Islam I was already very secure in my sexuality and gender, I was a non-binary lesbian and I knew that my whole life had kind of led up to that point where I was able to accept that and genuinely be happy for myself. So when I was looking into Islam and I knew that I wouldn't be able to accept Islam if it didn't fully include me, so I started looking things up in google but honestly a lot of them were written by homophobic men so I deffo felt lost because I really loved so many different aspects of Islam but my identity wasn't something I could compromise on. I then started asking my lgbtq+ Muslim friends (which I should have done before) and as @A.A and @R.N reading non-heteronormative interpretations of the Quran really helped me. Also I truly believe that Allah (swt) would never have guided me to Islam if he had a problem with me.
Q.I: Yes M.K!!! Invented taking your shahadah
N.D: Me drinking a mimosa in heaven with my girlfriend and seeing all the homophobic Muslims who said I’d be going to hell getting rejected from heaven and directed to hell
P.S.
N.D: Muslims would rather we marry an ain't shit nigga who we mother and who don’t know where the clit is when I could be getting the A1 strap game from a woman I love? Sign me the fuck up, Allah wants us to be Muslim AND happy!
H.M: @N.D AMEEN
Q.I: YES @N.D!!!! THE STRAP
M.Y: A1 STARPDBDJDJ
N.D: My god is a kind and understanding one!
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